Friday, October 15, 2010

Mixed Feelings...

Ok....going overseas might have a lot of problems whether the monologue within myself, you know, self check by questioning from within,asking myself bunch of questions...like,
Am i ready to take this responsibilities??
Am i gonna be just fine, able to take care of myself??
How bout my studies, can I make it to the top??
Living overseas, how hard can it be??
Can I manage my money wisely??
But then, i'll be really far away from my family.....
(>_<)/
*mixed feelings!!~~*


Unfortunately I get depressed after that and I don't know that is a good thing or not, meaning that I am serious about studying overseas, or am I just being paranoid....

...well everything i guess, just for your information, my family is just like anybody else, normal I could say, not the noble family kind or rich, of course not living like superstar thing-ing, wowowo....ok, stop2, I'm gonna tell about my family this time, I kinda not focusing on what I wanna tell sometimes, if so, I might able to make a novel, right??

The story goes like this, before the day of my departure, there is an event to commemorate Raya, ehem2, of course my day going to egypt, hu3... i was so excited right then counting down the day i'll be going to Egypt~~

The Day of Open House
It was so tiring....attending to guests...cleaning up the rubbishes...tidy up the tables..

What bothered me the most is most of my relatives congratulates for the special occasion,
it like came up to me, ooh... This is a big responsibility....i kinda thought about it before,
but like people say, berat mata memandang, berat lagi yang memikulnya...when I'm the one who experienced
it, so...this is what it feels...fuuhh!!!
u can do it!!

Right....moving on, let me ask u something, it is really convenient right to have airport, alamanda, mid valley...etc
Not far from your house, right??
Or u can go there when the public transport is just like a stone away?
Like when u want to smoke, the 7-11 is just at the corner of your neighbourhood?
well, in my case, cause my dad works at KLIA, *ohh...so proud of my dad~~ he's so cool..hu3..*
In one of important day of my life,
I was left alone....
Right, on the day of my departure *so long Malaysia~~ Here I come Egypt!!*
I was left alone at the airport...(>_<)/
Really~~


well duh...we have to assemble at the airport at 6.00 pm, the flight is at 1.30 am, within that time, like my mom can do so many things at home..
Like I told u, my home from KLIA is just 20 minutes away!!
Lucky?? Not really...
The conversation with my mom goes like this...
"la...kn umah dekat je, abg nanti g la hntr aye dulu, biar die siapkn daftar ape benda sume tu, check in kn beg2, dah siap tu sume baru la dtg,
xde la bazirkn masa, mak pun x pyh l nak tunggu lame2, penat tunggu....." *no comment...* (-_-)|||

While all...i mean..ALL...of my friends are with either their friends or family, I stuck alone at the airport, thank God NAdia, Aja n kak Ana was there, so I just stick with them until my family came later at 10.00 pm.But, the lucky part is, I get to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) just before the flight....fuuhhh... *sedap woo gua ckp sama lu....dah lame x mkn....hu3*
 

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Sedarilah jiwaku....Cinta sejati..

Cinta hakiki adalah kesegaran dan keharuman bunga yang dikirim syurga oleh Allah untuk membuat dunia tersenyum.

Parasnya laksana embun menyambut pagi , dan mengilhami bunga untuk menebarkan keharuman dinii dimusim semi, mengilhami manusia untuk meresapi tentang keindahan sari Islami.

Dengan segala kecantikan dan pesona iman yang begitu sempurna, semua orang akan menilai ia adalah cinta paling beruntung, ya, cinta kepada Ilahi, maka hidupnya dipenuhi oleh kesenangan dan kegembiraan hakiki.

Namun siapakah yang menyangka bila nafsu dan hati kecil telah memesongkan jiwa itu?

Siapakah yang bakal mengira bahwa jiwanya telah terangkat lalu terbang dari tubuhnya- untuk mencari keagungan cinta sejati...Tiada seorangpun tahu tentang duka hati yang membaluti jiwanya...tiada seorangpun tahu tentang ratap tangis dan rintihan kalbunya dikeremangan malam, mengenangkan cinta palsu yang hampir memusnahkan jiwanya...

Dikala itu, disebalik cahaya bulan dan bintang, sayup kedengaran ku mengimbas kembali nasihat yang pernah ummiku sering mengingatkan ku, sungguh, baru ku sedari maknanya setelah sekian lama, bukankah kita ini manusia lemah?

Sering mempertikaikan apa yang ada di depan mata, namun, setelah dikirimkan bala, menduga sekeping hati yang lemah, barulah disedari akan makna sebenar disebalik topeng yang menutupi hikmah yang tersembunyi. Benar kata ummi, selembut angin yang mengirimkan berita gembira tibanya musim bunga, ummi mengalunkan Firman Allah s.w.t. yang bermaksud, Dan segala sesuatu yang Kami ciptakan berpasang-pasangan, supaya kamu mengingati (kekuasaan Kami dan mentauhidkan Kami).

Kumohon padamu cinta...hentikan usahamu, lepaskan segala nafsu dan gundahmu....

Aku mendengar rintihan jiwamu, aku mendengar resahmu , kucuba untuk menjawab setiap pertanyaan jiwamu...pergilah kepada cinta sejati, bersandarlah disebalik bayang cinta hakiki, yakinlah bahwa Allah akan ada disetiap hembusan nafasmu...Hulurkanlah sayap jiwamu yang terpatah, kan digapai dan disembuhkan dengan kepakan zikrullah.

Tersenyumlah bersama mentari, sampaikan salam kerinduanmu pada Allah-melalui desiran angin dan alunan zikrullah, diangkasa serukanlah segala cinta indahmu agar diketemukan ketenangan hakiki, percayalah...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Getting ready for take off~~

Seriously, lots of thing have to be done when preparing to go overseas. What clothes to wear, is it cheap enough, stylish or not, where to buy, how bout the seasons, not to mention essentials, money rate, money transfer, register account bank, how to withdraw when I'm arrived there. Huh, all that hard work of course involves me, my dad, mom and my big sis though. This is where family come in for help.

First, of course, we must learn the place that we wanna go. Either the climate, weather, markets, banks, food availability, bookstores, etc. must be check first either by internet, books, or the people that have went there before. In my case, I have asked my teachers of course, graduated from Egypt.

Ask about the people, the markets, where to buy food, the transports, the language, proper manners cause different region different culture so by knowing the differences might change the perspectives of the local people there of me.

Then, it comes to the seasonal clothes. I live in Malaysia. Tropical region. No four seasons definitely. So, throughout the year I always wear the same kind of get up. Just occasionally when there's wedding ceremony or party then I suppose wear the tradisional clothes will just suffice.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Field Trip part 3




We were choosing the blouses, then my dad want to take pic, so we posed.









My lil sis, the one with tudung labuh, hafizah, with God willing, insyaAllah, trying to find new shoes. She is petite, so sometimes, it's better to find her size at the kid's department. Still, she would sulk though, cuz she's the smallest in my family. She is big enough for her age, but not size, like during school assembly, she is always at the front, I mean, really at the front, she's always the first in her line. She hated it though.  

Field Trip!!~~ part 2

  Okay, the day actually start like this, I went to Jusco, Seremban to buy clothes for me when I'm going to Egypt. Blouse, slacks, jacket, blazer, etc. For formal wear of course. Then, I went to see the theater play, and world cup final game after that.








 This is my sis n my mom choosing the shirts.















 This is me trying the blazer.











Field Trip.... part 1

Hohoho...yup, it seems that the world cup has finally end this morning....with Spain as the victorious. It was a rough morning for me considering that i fell asleep several time just to watch the game. I went with my big sis n her friends. Before that I went to see a theater play, "Aladdin dan Pelita Ajaib" also, Aladdin and the magic lamp. It is a comedy play, so it is very amusing to me, although, my sis, well, she used to be a director for this kind of play theater thing, so she kinda know something bout it that she and Tom, her friend, kept criticsizing about the play.

Hahaha, considering that I know nothing I just laugh while sitting at the back of the car. I really love the play, the setting, the props, the costumes, of course, like a fairytale. You know, sometimes I just  jealous at the actors, considering they could pretend to be someone else, even for just a play. Cuz, there just no way that I could get on stage, right?

Of course it looked like the actors were enjoying it. I really like the props, especially when the genie summon the magic carpet, it was hilarious. I couldn't explain it how though, you gotta see it then you understand.





This is the part that Aladdin found the magic lamp.









This is the part that the princess were brought to her father and was accused for something she did, but the facts were twisted.









 This is the part that the villain were using his magic to find out the cure for the princess, evil style.










I like this part. The props were cool. The princess was asleep, bewitched, and Aladdin was caught.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Pictures of my buddies

This is Awatif, Soraya and Syafiqah.


From the left, Anisah, Amalina, Muna and Syafiqah.

Life at Kolej IbrahimYaakob


Tadah!! This is where my group study at night. See the boxes behind Firwan? There are a lot more of them behind Syafiqah and Soraya actually. We don't mind it. We liked it there, although the room could be called storage room.

My group is so much fun! I used to live in hostel for secondary school, so I know how to judge people from my point of view, why? You might say that it's too early for me to judge them,well, you could say that I'm naive, but I did have problems with my friends from previous school so I know how it felt.

Not INTERSABER, but SAMTTAR. From F1 till F3 I studied at SAMTTAR.
Of course, this place is my sanctuary in my early days as teenager, learning how to interact with seniors, friends, juniors, but they just don't understand me, trying to change me, when I'm not like that. I'm not like that, change myself just to get in the group. That's no fun.

Well, I actually don't remember the details though. I don't want to remember it maybe, but what I remember is I cried a lot, thinking what's wrong with my attitude all this time. I can't accept it cause all my friends, already kind of tired of me, and told me about my faults.

I was brokenheart. Really, that time I felt like I was betrayed by them. I couldn't really call them my friends anymore at some point. Then, I was solo ranger at the time. After that, I joined the other group, well how could I face them and saying that I'm alright?

I cried, even tried to consult with my mom, but I couldn't. The minute I tried to tell her about it, my eyes gushing with tears. Even my brother is involved is this matter which is quite embarassing.

In the end, I move away to another school. Making new friends, while bearing in my mind not to make the same mistakes ever again, not to repeat the agony of betrayal again cause I'm not that strong at heart when it comes to relationships. I tried to become a cheerful person, when that's all I could do. How it is I wonder people could find their soulmate?

All the anxiety, insecurities, not knowing what to do, what must to do, in a relationship, what must I do so that I won't have to feel that wound again?

Everyday is fun!!

This is where my tutorial group study for the night. In the picture rom left is Syafiqah Badri, Awatif, Soraya, me, and behind me wearing glasses is Ain, a.k.a Potato and beside her is Filla, a.k.a FillFill. Hehehe, they all have nickname actually, Syafiqah is Safari, Awatif is Awa LingLing, Soraya is LangLang. Me, they just call Aye.

The room is next to the Mirror Room. Although it looks just like a storage room, we actually liked it there, plus there were air-conds there.

My group leader is Mohd. Mukhlis, he volunteered himself, but we don't mind actually, also it is convenient for us since we don't know the boys back then. He does have leadership. Well. I admire him actually, he always early to the class most of the time, know how to handle things with tech, but what the best thing is, he knows how to play guitar!

To me it's so romantic! Imagine, he's playing for someone when special occasion~~~~
Making your heart go doki.doki! Hehehehe,

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Rant's for da Nite

Today is quite suck... I have fever and asthma. So, I have to stay at the hostel. It is quite a hassle consider that I would miss a lot of thing in class. At room, while waiting for Ain to wake up I was bored. Ain is my room mate to be when I will be studying in Egypt. The others is Nadia, Aja, Kak Ana and Ummul.

Lots of people thinks that they should consider a lot of things before deciding who would be their room mate or their friends. But to me, I think the most important thing is whether you comfortable with them in the first place and how their sincerity affect you the most.

The thing is, now I am taking preparation classes for furthering my study on medicine in Egypt. It is my father's wish and I'm willing to take on the challenge considering that he is willing to pay the fee for me. So, yeah, bring it on bebeh!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

.izzati.: pelita :)

.izzati.: pelita :)

Rant's for da Nite

Today was a battle!

Who would have thought that getting a driver lisence is so nervewrecking. (>_<)--~
yup....It was tough..... Getting all nervous. Imagine, sitting next to the tester, Polis JPJ, in suit, while I'm trying to focus on the road, I did it though, relieved. Remembering it was just the same when for interviewing and when I have to conduct the morning assembly at my school.



Sunday, May 16, 2010

Rant's for da Day

Started after the end of my school life, I always wake up late. It's more and more sleep than ever. Then, it started to get really boring, easy going through the day, same routine, so I decided to get a part time job.

Yup, part time job. Then my dad found one for me. A temporary kindergarten teacher! teacher! At first, I just follow my dad to his friend's house. I didn't even ask my dad what the work was about. Simply following him, it was the former landlord's house. My family use to rent this bungalow from the landlord for ten years.

Pn. Zaiton is her name. I forgot her husband name, hehehehe. I just called him tuan rumah. At first, I just tried to get along with Mak Za, the other teacher there. Thank God she is friendly. I had adjust to the work just smoothly. The kids were okay. I'll upload the pics other times. How cute the kids are.

The only thing I jealous of them is how carefree they were and how smooth their skin! Yup, their skin. Now my face have pimples now and then. Not the seriously big pimples, just manage to handle the pimples with today tech I say.

I started going to work at 6.55 am along with my bro and sis. My mom sent them to school while I'm going to work. In the morning, Ezrin will came first. Her mother is a school teacher while her father is a cop. Then Sabrina came. Both their parent work at early hour, so we the teachers also have to come early in the morning.

I'll explain more in my teaching journal.But then, I realise how lonely it was without my friends. Sure, I have more quality time with my family when I'm at home, but it doesn't feel the same, I used to lived at hostel for 5 years. When I'm working it does make me felt warm surrounding by people. Even it is kids, but they do know me as their friends.

It means that I'm used to be with lots of people at a time. Just when I'm by myself in my room, I'm lost what I want to do. I just sleep most of the time. I can't stay put just like that, doing nothing. So, most of the time I'm on the net or watch tv. Well, okay, most of the time, I read manga online. It's just so interesting, manga that is.

Rant's for da Night

I always hoping that today will be a fairy tale, I was a princess, a knight, or even a magician, that would be cool... (>_<)--^ I always wanted to try become a character like that. Venturing in the forest, on the adventure for finding your own strength and experience. Meeting lots of interesting places, like a unique forest like in the movie of Avatar, castles, and having magical moments.....

Hahaha.., of course it will be a dream only, it's nice to have dreams in your life. Kind of motivation and necessity in our life. Just living dull life isn't fun. Life is yours to decide. May it become deep red, drench in black, or rather the colour of rainbow, fill with sparkles and shines brightly.

You see, I want to start this blog, but I'm not good with words. The experience and the moment I felt at the time I want to share it all. But, finding the right words to describe it just takes time. Sometimes, I'm at loss what I'm suppose to write.

But that doesn't gives me up. I'm trying my best to overcome this. Although it takes time, I'll still write it. It is a problem for me though. I might end up just staring in front of my laptop all day. Hey, that might just be in the beginning. Then I'll improve myself, take one step at a time.

Yeah!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Rant's for da Day

New friends.....
New environment.....
New kind of world....
New kind of Freedom....Free......Free.....

Hahahahaha......not so fast young lad.....that is what i say to myself......you might get yourself in trouble....true.....from my point of view.... when teenagers is given too much freedom without self control or parental control.....they will...definitely will lost their way......

When I'm in new environment...I will check out the place just in case......the people...their behaviour.....their interests.... their sensitivity to the environment....

This is what i'm giving prior for.... I want to make friends with people who is aware of the world around them and have qualities that I can be proud of..... like Prophet Muhammad..... I admire how he can gather all the amazing people around him.... willing to die syahid just for Allah.....


Its not that I want friends that like to die in war.....most people misunderstood the concept of syahid in Islam.... Firstly, it takes more than faith just to willing for syahid...it needs courage, deep faith, and trust among themselves and in God.....

Starting from this year, after SPM, it was like a paradise.... break from reading difficult books, reviewing, study groups, responsibilities at school....It was tough I say, jumbling all together.... the most difficult part is when you in boarding school is to stay awake in class...yup....staying awake and focusing to the class...

Everyday just lazying around....definitely surf the net, reading all the manga i wanted, downloading the anime I'm crazy about, and cooking all the recipes i want..... It's paradise I say...paradise....


Saturday, May 8, 2010

Beginning of my Blog World

Today is da day!

Actually I''ve been thinking of starting a blog of my own quite some time. It's just that that the timing is bad and it's also a hassle when I'm using laptop, I mean my dad's laptop, it's his and can't just do anything I want with it.....like putting cool wallpaper, download my fav songs, change the settings, etc. Then I thought, just wait when I have my own laptop, then I'll have my own world.

Yeah!!!

Now it's raining quite heavily. Usually, when it's raining cats and dogs, there'll be downpour at the kitchen.....well, I live in area quite the place....there's lot of rubber trees, bushes, etc. So, monkeys, wild dogs, boars are in the area. But I like the quiet surrounding....far from noises....

Back to the story, the naughty monkeys often play around on the roof, so the tiles became misplace, and the flow of the rain will mess up, thus causing leakage in the kitchen. It's fixed now, so it's alright.